Like the seasons, I have noticed that my practice is changing lately. What used to bring me to my mat was the sweaty constant flow of a Vinyasa practice. Not sure if it is the heat outside (I am a pitta afterall) or maybe it’s just where I’m at, but I’m really needing and wanting a slow, meditative and restorative practice.
This change happened a couple of weeks ago when I found myself inching further and further away from my mat. I said excuses like “It’s because Jude’s home” or “I’ll do it later”, …My ego would come in to play, and I would find myself consumed in anger at myself for not practicing, then I would be mad at myself for even being MAD at myself…it would be this cyclical warfare going on in my head.
And then, I found this quote:
I knew that I needed to find peace. Peace within my practice, but most of all, peace within myself.
As a teacher and a student, it’s good to be reminded that change is the only constant thing in life. It’s also good to be reminded that yoga is not just about the asanas.
Without even realizing, I have been “doing” yoga the past month or so. I have been delving deep into yoga philosophy as my heart and soul have been yearning for deeper truths (Raja yoga). I’ve also been asking myself some deep questions, as I peel layers of my past to see the flower I am blooming to be (Jnana yoga), and have working on my meditation.
I went to my mat today, for the first time in a week. I had some resistance at first, but instead of judging myself, I became at peace: At peace with my breath, at peace with the postures, but had peace within myself as I knew and realized, this too, is just another part of life…the constant ebb & flow of the waves of change. And yogi’s-I’m just riding them!