Many of you know that if you come to my Vinyasa classes that my ipod is quite wonky. My 15 year old Jake is often in charge of Itunes and has inherited my most eclectic tastes of music…he is currently going thru a severe techno 80’s stage and I secretly adore it!!
Earlier this week I had my folks laid out in some awesome yummy long stretch and Coldplay’s “I Will Try to Fix U” came on…the Live version. As powerful as Chris Martin is singing his beautiful lyrics…the sound of a crowd singing the words to this song is over powering. It was such a random and personal moment for me in a room full of folks that it has been a total replay button in my head. I will leave you a version of this at the end if I can figure out technically how to do so.
My mama’s southern girl says we can fix anything. You can fix things with lovely handwritten notes, a really good poundcake, the right shade of lip gloss….a quick hug and a “bless your heart”. You can fix things by staying and doing the right thing out of honor and your version of truth/satya or the truth you wish others to see. At least you can try your very hardest … but at what cost? Personally I seem to be rolling a lot more raw and open these days and I am just not so sure that is “fixable”.
You see…I can see the emotions that roll over your face as you practice..the internal and external practice. We share as teacher and student the most intimate of moments. I can try to fix your alignment, remind you to breathe and have compassion for the space that you are in…I cannot fix emotions, spirits or those looping mental thoughts that belong only to you. I can watch you struggle and only hope to hold you with my words or the touch of my hands.
But maybe you too do not need to be “fixed”. Perhaps that is an idea born of a Southern Culture, Feminism or the Western mind. Maybe you are All Good just as you are in that moment as emotions rush by…some of those emotions nicer than others. Maybe the Experience is the Fix.
The Fix is knowing somewhere somehow that we are complex amazing spiritual beings having crazy full on reality show human moments. These are words my teacher Dolly constantly said out loud. I know these words fully and completely and can only shake my head on good days and smile with some small semblance of grace.
I will guide you as you practice…I will be the watcher…I will hold you in my words, my hands and my heart…and Lights Will Guide You Home.
I am Kim Zegil
Please listen to below…it is beautifully unexpected.